Gasping for Air [ 72” x 44”] · Carbon pencil, blackening watercolours, and inks on paper mounted to canvas · [ 2023 ]
The mask of survival and the battle between forces.
A male figure surges desperately toward the surface, lungs burning, while eight female figures trail in his wake—all straining for the next breath, not pursuing him but also survival. The scene captures the raw urgency of survival: the pull upward, the weight of those following, the question of whether true relief lies in breaking through or in embracing the depths of desire.
The complexity of relationships, meaning, and endurance is laid bare in the struggle—does happiness wait at the surface, or does it reside below, in the honest confrontation with what drags us under? The blackening layers and fluid drips evoke suffocation giving way to revelation, pain yielding to possibility. The eternal question that when in your final moment, where does your memory honestly go, only then are you unmasked.
Part of an ongoing exploration of vulnerability, connection, and rebirth—dark yet eternally optimistic in its search for air.
Dark yet hopeful
Studio view, or related works: blairaiken@raincage.com
Inspiration & Personal Connection
This painting draws inspiration from Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s *The Fall of the Rebel Angels* (1562). Bruegel’s chaotic, crowded composition shows the dramatic expulsion of the fallen angels from heaven — a vivid battle between good and evil, order and rebellion. The psychological mask of the battle between angels and demons is an allegory for the internal struggle for self-control, moral choice, and the integration of the human psyche. It is a projection of the inner conflict between impulsive, emotional desires (demons) and rational, constructive, and virtuous higher powers (angels).
In my version, I remove the binary of good versus bad entirely. There are no righteous victors or demonic losers — only two mirror-like forces locked in a desperate struggle. One side gasps for air, reaching for what is required for survival. The other feeds on what nourishes the soul. Both are reflections of the same primal need: to breathe, to endure, to find sustenance in a world that demands constant negotiation between body and spirit.
The blackening layers trace the raw intensity of that fight — the moment when survival and soul-hunger collide, when we are forced to confront what we will grasp for, and what we are willing to become in order to keep breathing.
Through this work, I explore the absence of simple moral categories and the complex reality of human existence: we are all gasping for air in our own way, searching for what will keep us alive and what will feed the deeper parts of ourselves.
Yet even in this moment of frantic struggle and mirrored desperation, a faint gleam persists — a quiet reminder that the search for survival and soul can still lead to growth, understanding, and a fragile kind of grace.
Dark yet hopeful.
Studio view, or related works: blairaiken@raincage.com
Dark yet hopeful.
Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s *The Fall of the Rebel Angels* (1562)